Kill This Feeling
by JediRebelWriter
Summary: Everything has a reason so just breathe, lay back and manage to survive the trip. Think of all the happy things. Do whatever it takes, just make sure that you make it out alive. - Or when Keith has been a life long servant to the Galra empire and is just barely managing to keep his sanity and strength when a certain teen ends up a prisoner on their ship and things fall into place.
1. Chapter 1 REAL

Freedom, Family. Running around in calming bright green meadows while butterflies flutter and crickets chirp. It was perfect, everything he had ever dreamed of it being. Closing his eyes he inhaled a deep breath and looked up at the sky, using all the imagination he could muster to find the various shapes hiding behind the clouds. His attention was brought back when a soft and kind voice rang out into the air, calling "Keith!" At the mention of his name, the boy turned to glance at his mother. She sat by his father on a very obnoxious looking red and white towel in front of a huge oak tree. He had always had a thing for oak trees, their scent and appearance calmed him greatly. Food littered the picnic blanket and it all looked so appetizing. The young boy quickly ran over as he heard the call of "Keith!" once more.

Sitting down he went to reach for a plate when his name was called once more, this one frantic. He looked up, slowly retracting his hand from where the plates were. He raised one of his eyebrows and suddenly felt worry bubble up in his stomach. "Yeah mom?"

"KEITH!" Suddenly she was on him, shaking the boy violently. Her teeth began to turn yellow and her face contorted into something impossible to describe. This woman was not his mother. Immediately he looked over to his dad to beg for help when he noticed the once happy man was now gone. "KEITH! GET UP!" He pushed the woman off him and ran as far as he could. As he ran he glanced up at the clouds once more before he jolted awake.

"Keith! Oh thank god you're awake. The guards are coming NOW. You need to get up and look presentable." The younger boy that Keith identified as his room mate Matt rushed out in an overly frantic voice. The older teen turned around to respond but flinched as the boring gray, too small and slightly ripped uniform was thrown toward his face. Not having the time to laugh at the moment, though they both really wanted to, got rid of their smirks and began to make Keith look presentable. Matt quickly brushed his knotty hair as Keith threw on the uniform as quickly as possible. Once they were done he glanced in the broken mirror to check.

"Not half bad." He mumbled, he looked as good as he could manage with the same unwashed torn clothes he's had all year. Quickly turning around he gave Matt a tight and grateful hug. "Thanks. I'm still barely healing from the last time I was late," He whispered as he almost physically winced at the memory. He nodded against Keiths shoulder as they quickly let go soon after. Matt looked well groomed and it was obvious that he was up earlier then usual to look good for that day. He was curious but didn't want to question it.

Not too long after the hug ended the door slid open, both Keith and Matt stood to attention and kept their eyes on the floor. Keith tried not to wince as his hair was grabbed and he was basically dragged to his morning job. "Listen up," The guard began as he let go of the younger boys hair. "We got a new prisoner in today. You need to go in to clean it up after we're done which should be in a few minutes. Until then you can just hang in there in the corner. Don't look at the prisoner while cleaning and most importantly don't talk. You think you can do that?" The Galra guard snarled out the last bit, re-saying the rules he had heard the few times he's had this job over his lifetime.

"Yes, sir." Keith mumbled, following the guard into the room. They were immediately met with the sound of screaming. It was obviously a young male and Keith tried not to cringe as he thought of how this boy, probably around the same age as him had ended up in a shithole place like a Galra ship.

"Now tell us, where the hell is your ship?" One guard asked, which was followed by a scream as they electrocuted the boy.

"I told you," The mysterious prisoner said with more resilience and pride then any prisoner he had seen in a long time "The only ship I have is that god damn thing I was flying when you all pulled me into this place."

This answer was only met with another scream as a very loud shocking sound emanated throughout the room. "Okay, we're obviously not getting anything out of it today." One of the guards participating in the torture said, turning to the man who brought Keith in this room. "Hey, you!"

Keith tried to keep voice steady as he stuttered out a barely loud enough "Y-Yes, sir?"

"Clean this thing up before we get back in a half an hour. Be sure to make it as painful as possible. Oh, and clean the room as well."

"Of course sir." He replied as emotionlessly as possible.

As the four guards quickly made their way out of the entrance the teen began to get to work. Of course however, the prisoner just HAD to make this harder on him as he began to whisper, the proud appearance slowly fading as he groaned in pain. "Hey so, looks like we're gonna be friends over the next half an hour."

Keith just kept working, ignoring the fellow teens comment as instructed. It was silent for a long time as the boy made his way throughout the room. Finishing it so it looked completely spotless only took about 10 minutes and then he moved onto the mystery boy. He grabbed a wet cloth and began to dab at the blood, trying as hard as possible to make it the least painful that he could. "Your name?" The boy said, though it was so quiet he barely heard "Mine's Lance McClain." Why he was telling him when he wouldn't tell the guards remained a mystery to Keith, who ignored the boys words and moved the wet cloth to dab the sweat off of the boy he now knew as Lance's forehead. The silence was so loud that it hurt them both, Keith less though of course. The only noises being Keith's steady and Lance's ragged breathing and the sound of the wet towel going into the bucket and onto Lance's body once more.

The more that the mullet haired teen ignored the prisoner, the more the tension began to rise in Lance's body. After just a few more minutes he finally broke and turned to talk to Keith but was met with disappointment as the other boy wouldn't even meet his eyes. He just kept focusing on the area of the body he was washing and it annoyed Lance to no end. "I should've known that a Galra wouldn't bother taking their time to talk to me, I mean after all I'm just a basic prisoner for you all to toy with. Those god damn guards won't even refer to me as a person, I'm called an it. You probably think of me the same way. You're all the same." He snarled out, putting as much anger as he could into his tiny rant without actually raising his voice.

Finally, the servant boy responded with tightly clenched teeth and a deadly look in his eyes that Lance could see even though he still wasn't being looked directly at. "Don't you ever fucking compare me to one of them." With that the boy put down the towel back into the bucket as he checked the time. They both had decided they were done with each other and thankfully the second the bucket was back and he was back at the corner, the four guards re-entered the room.

"Get out." One snarled at him and he quickly nodded and made his way out the door, staring at his own feet as he walked back to his and Faith's quarters as fast as possible, being careful to not crash into anyone of course. He just really wanted to get back and lay down until they got him again for another job or for food.

He headed down one of the corridors and another and another until he had gone down about seven in the maze that was the servant quarters. He recognized his room immediately and opened the door sighed out a happy smile as he noticed that the lower bunk had a familiar figure laying upon it. Matt glanced over from reading his very old book he had stolen from the library when the door opened and returned the smile before looking back up at the bottom of Keith's bunk. "So, you've had an interesting day I assume?" He asked excitedly.

Though the teenager already felt that he knew the answer he still felt the need to ask. "How did you know?" He raised an eyebrow as the younger let out a laugh and looked at him once more. Keith took a seat on Matt's bed end. The brown, almost orange, haired boy sat up, sitting next to the other.

"Because," he said simply "I've known you since you were five. I can read you like a open book. We rarely get any gossip around here anyway." He said, with an overly dramatic serious face as he slammed his fist on the thin sheet lining the almost broken bed and sunken mattress. "Tell me."

"Okay, fine." Keith tried to sound annoyed as he said it but Matt knew him too well and knew he was barely suppressing his smiles and laughter at his antics. "So there's a new prisoner named Lance. Lance McClain to be exact."


	2. Chapter 2

**I'll update every Sunday. c:**

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"Stop stumbling around or I swear boy, I'll drag you across the floor all the way to the mess hall."

The young boy instantly tried to straighten up his walking and increase his speed at the angry growling tone used by the Galra. It was very obvious that the older man wasn't joking and his mind flickered back to last night. He knew he couldn't afford to get himself in any more harm. Quite frankly, his body couldn't handle it and he'd probably have to be sent to the infirmary which was never a good thing. As he felt his own posture finally beginning to straighten itself out and noticed by the lack of eyes on him that he must have pleased the man. If he got in more trouble, it was his own fault, he knew that. Just like last night. He has been here almost his whole life and he knew better then to meet the eyes of a soldier, let alone a Galran soldier. He's just glad it didn't go any farther then a beating with some of the humiliation that they love to throw in oh so often as they made sure that servants and Galrans alike watched throughout his torment. He wasn't their equal so he knew he didn't deserve that basic right of eye contact. It had been drilled into his head since he was a little tike. The punishments for such offenses were always extreme though, as were most thing related to the Galran Military.

Thoughts such as these ran through his mind, distracting him from everything around him. The mullet haired teen was known to get lost in his thoughts and sometimes it was helpful because when you're getting tortured or beaten sending yourself in to another universe mentally is always helpful, at least a little because it was something he found to relaxing. Imagining he was at Earth, thinking of how green and beautiful the planet must be. Then there was times such as right now when it was an issue because he didn't even notice that they had arrived at the mess hall until he managed to register a shout of "Move it!" as his body suddenly collided with the hard concrete floor of the mess hall. The cafeteria instantly hushed as all eyes turned to look as his body was pushed and now lying pathetically on the ground. Keith glanced up at the eyes. Some probably found it funny, since they didn't get much entertainment down in the bottom floor. Then there were others such as Matt, who he spotted almost instantly at their usual spot on the floor. It was also easy to see him because he was one of the only other non alien species in the room. His eyes were big as he met Keith's, he had saw the beating yesterday and so did probably half of the people looking at him so they all knew as he stood up and limped toward the spot on the ground how much pain he must be in.

As soon as he grabbed a seat on the ground and got into a comfortable position to help the pain in his possibly fractured rib he heard a hurried whisper of "Keith, are you okay?"

He simply nodded and groaned as the pain in his side got worse. He already knew what his roommate was going to say so he turned his head slowly and met the others eyes. "I'm not going to the infirmary. I'd rather break another rib."

At this Matt's eyes widened once again as he quickly gave him a protein bar that he had snagged for the mullet haired teen "Another?"

"Shit..." He muttered "I wasn't gonna tell you about that because you worry too much. Just please, Matt, don't mention it to anyone."

"I can't just let you-"

He opened the bar and instantly shushed the younger with an even quieter "2 weeks ago. Patrick. Don't forget that you owe me."

"And here I thought that you'd let me live that down." He shook his head and let out a sigh that almost sounded like a laugh "Fine. I'll keep quiet, just please take care of yourself."

"Don't I always?"  
-

Number 132, Matt Holt. Last job of the night. Medical storage restocking.

Number 24, Keith Kogane. Last job of the night. Mess hall cleanup.

Nodding his head in understanding he lowered his eyes to his feet as the guard approached to take Keith to the mess hall for the second time that day.

When they arrived he grimaced as they walked over the spot he had fallen earlier. His mind showing him mental images again of the bruises he observed littered all over his body when he glanced in the mirror after eating. He was swiftly thrown a mop and he made his way over to the large and dirty community bucket. Dipping the mop in the almost chocolate brown water he began to wash around the two tables and the small rooms floor. In all honesty though it wasn't that bad. He's just glad that he hasn't gotten any bloody jobs recently such as prisoner clean up. In fact as far as he could recall no one after him the first time had been sent to prisoner clean up. Keith remembered the cocky and annoying teen who just seemed to try so hard to get him in trouble. Of course, he was all the things that Keith has just said but he didn't deserve to covered in his own blood, bodily fluids and dirt for four days straight. Not that the Galra cared, but Keith couldn't help and feel bad for the other teen.  
Soon after he let his mind wander to the strange boy named Lance he was yelled at that the place looked clean enough and that they should all wait to be escorted back to their rooms for curfew. At this, Keith quickly made his way to where the line always was. Surprisingly he made it there first, though there were a few grumbling aliens behind him who seemed to disagree as he was grabbed roughly by the arm and almost dragged back to his room. The guard left as soon as he saw the small teen shut the door to the quarters.

After shutting the door and hearing the guards footsteps get progressively quieter until there was no sound at all, he glanced at Matt. Like always, he was here before him, reading that same old book. He'd read it so many times Keith began to wonder what it was about though he would never ask because for some reason it seemed to be personal. "So mullet, how was cleanup duty?" He asked with a smirk as he put down the book and instead pulled out a small box, about the size of a childs hand from beneath his pillow "Because mine went pretty well."

He groaned mentally and out loud as he registered the tiny plus sign on the top of the box. "You stole from the medical bay?" He tried to hide all emotion in his voice as he whispered out the phrase just in case anyone was outside.

"More like... borrowed? You see I know this guy who can't seem to keep himself in good shape. He's always covered in bruises and bleeding. So I thought I'd help him out."

"Sounds like a guy I know too. I'm sure he appreciates it." He mumbled as he laid down on Matt's bed with his instruction. He took off his shirt and told his roommate exactly where everything hurt the most so Matt could try and help the pain. He heard a few tube caps popping a few ripping sounds as a soothing gel was placed over a few bruises and an absorbable bandage was placed over his broken rib. "According to the package," Matt read aloud, though only loud enough for him to hear "Your skin is supposed to absorb the bandage and transport it onto the broken or fractured area and act as an internal cast."

Matt smiled at Keith as he whispered out a "Thank you." The older boy threw on his ripped and smelly t-shirt that all prisoners wore as he glanced up at Matt and said a little louder "Can I tell you a secret?"

He nodded quickly as he took a seat next to Keith on his bed. "I lied earlier, I really can't take care of myself." He leaned in, as if listening very intently for whatever secret was about to be spoken.

Matt sighed and shook his head in disappointment as they both grinned which quickly turned into a quiet bout of laughter. Realizing that if they continued they might get in trouble they both went back to smiling and eventually back to nothing at all as the door to their quarters opened.

"Keith Kogane. Get up now. The prisoner has made quite the mess and I expect you to clean it up. We'll give you an hour this time since blood can be hard to clean out of the floors. You know the rules correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, lets go."

 **I just feel the need mention that Matt is probably 14 or so in this and he used to be an OC named Faith but I like the plot more with Matt as the room mate. Please let me know what you thought!**


	3. Chapter 3

p style="text-align: left;" Blood. That was the first sight that hit Keith as the door slid open. It was flowing out of the various cuts littering the prisoners body. Some especially deep ones on his arm had flowed together and had pooled at the edge of the prisoners fingers and dripped onto the ground beneath them, causing a few small puddles to form on the dark marble floor. His shirt was in tatters, obviously having been ripped or burned by the usage of multiple torturous devices. It was his eyes though, that really had changed. On the first day they had met Keith distinctly remembered the fire and defiance behind the other teens eyes. It was also backed with a slight hint of friendliness and hope when Keith had entered the room though. Why that had been there, why Lance found Keith as a source of hope, that was something Keith would never be able to comprehend. Now, however, when Keith had entered the room he was met with an almost dead-like pair of eyes. They looked tired and worn down and just so not right. br /Before Keith could even try to feel any certain way about the obvious changes and lack of fight that had been so evident on the prisoner a few days ago he was being shoved forward as a thick and ugly purple finger pointed at the cleaning supplies. One tiny wooden table set with supplies for Lance and one for the furniture./p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / Keith simply nodded and as soon as he heard the door behind him hiss shut, he made his way over to the table with supplies on it for Lance and grabbed a spray bottle with water and a rag before making his way back over to said person. He kept his eyes downcast as he gently tried to clean up the cuts littering the boys whole torso and tried not to feel bad every time Lance flinched./p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / "Hey, you know," Came the broken and dry voice of the person in front of him, "You never did tell me your name that first day."/p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / Sure, Keith knew the rules and he really didn't want to get in any trouble for talking but something about Lance threw him off. Why was Lance being nice to him, why would Lance tell him his name? There's so many unanswered questions that Keith wanted to ask but he knew he wouldn't. However, Keith decided that he couldn't follow Galran orders all the time. Yeah, that was the reason he decided to respond, and not at all because he felt a pang of remorse for the boy in front of him. "Keith, it's Keith."/p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / "Last name?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / "Well you're sure asking a lot from me." Keith sighed, and figured that he might as well indulge in this conversation while he would be here because who knows how long he would have to sit there and clean while the rest of the ship slept soundly./p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / He didn't have to worry too much about getting caught since it was so late, Keith knew. He'd been here basically his whole life and when he was younger he always got beat for sneaking around in places he wasn't allowed. He couldn't help that he was curious, and that curiosity alone had given him some valuable information such as the fact that even though they claim to, this Galra outpost never had someone watching the security cameras at night./p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / "I don't have one."/p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / At this the younger teen grunted in confusion, it was probably the best he could do with how much pain he was in "You don't have a last name? Everyone does."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Well I don't, I was born here. They don't give last names to serva- people like me."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Oh."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" And just like that the conversation had ended. Lance trying hard to ignore the word servant that had almost slipped out of Keith's mouth, and Keith trying even harder to hide the confusion on his face. Why does he care about his name? The older teen wasn't dumb, he knew this outpost usually only brought in important people for torture since their tactics were much more gruesome then some other ones. So why is he here, he looks only slightly younger then Keith, how could he be important? And why does an important person bother to fraternize with the lower class? It's frowned upon by so many./p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / Keith had noticed a little bit too late that he had stopped washing and just had the wet rag sitting on the other teens chest. Shaking his head slightly to bring himself back from wherever his mind had wandered off to, he finally glanced up at the boy. "Who are you?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / "I told you already, I'm Lan-"/p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / "No. I mean, who emare/em you? What did you do to the Galra to wind up here?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / Lance sighed, staring long and hard into Keith's eyes. It almost felt as if he was trying to read him. Trying to see if he could really trust him, and just like that Lance's eyes were back to the defiant and slightly friendly look he had at the beginning. After almost a full minute his gaze softened and he let himself smile so small that it was barely even eligible to be called that. "It's a long story really. I'm a paladin of Voltron. The blue lion to be exact. I got pulled in a tractor beam when we were in a battle. I was trying to help out my friend who pilots the green lion. After that it's just a huge blur. You were actually the first non-Galra person I'd met since I got pulled in here. How long has it been?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;" Keith felt his forehead scrunch in confusion before he realized what he met. How long has it been since he'd been /"6 days, at least since I came in here that first day."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "It's been that long huh." It was obviously more of a self thought at the way Lance's eyes seemed to distance themselves from the room and from Keith./p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Yeah." The older said with a sigh, trying not to sound sympathetic./p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Hey?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Yeah?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Are you from outer space?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Well I'm from Eart-"/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Cause you're out of this world." /p  
p style="text-align: left;" That last part was mumbled so casually and quietly that it broke Keith in so many ways because it just made him want to laugh because of how bad and corny it was but it also made him want to cry because the casual pick up line just cemented the idea in his mind that Lance might die here. That every day this teen, who in all honesty he still wasn't completely sure about, was going to be tortured and broken./p  
p style="text-align: left;" Keith put back the supplies that he used to clean Lance and cringed at how red the water had turned. He felt satisfied though, he felt useful. Not to the Galra, not completely to Lance, but just to himself because he helped someone. Which is not something many servants in the Galra Empire had the luxury to do. It was mainly just help yourself and survive, and when others broke you just had to take it in your stride and focus on yourself because they didn't matter. A small part of him, his survival instincts more then likely, whispered an evil little 'emLet him break. He's weak, he'll break./em'/p  
p style="text-align: left;" As Keith picked up the cleaning supplies for the floor and basically anything around Lance he tried to ignore the larger part of his mind that whispered back even louder 'emAnd if he does break, I'll be there to pick up the pieces./em'/p  
p style="text-align: left;" After that the silence was peaceful as both of them just relaxed and let it consume them. Keith cleaned the floors as efficiently and fast as he could. It wasn't so much that he wanted to get away from Lance, just more of a sense of tiredness and fear that if he wasn't done and a guard came to tell him whatever time limit they had given him without telling him was up then they found that it wasn't done... it wouldn't be good for him or Lance./p  
p style="text-align: left;" So once Keith finished and gave the whole room a once over to make sure he hadn't missed any blood he walked over to Lance and put a hand on his shoulder. The younger looked up from his restrained position on the uncomfortable looking metal table and glanced in Keith's eyes once more./p  
p style="text-align: left;" "I'm sorry. I wish I could help you."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" Lance simply sighed and shook his head "Don't be, you're helping now more then anyone else has on this ship."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "You'll get off this ship. Mark my words McClain."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "If I do, I'll take you with me and away from the hell hole. I couldn't imagine having to live here." Lance said, giving a slightly disgusted face at the idea of someone spending their life in a place like this. If Lance could, he'd take every prisoner on this ship and show them what real living is but that didn't seem possible unless he could somehow contact the castle and ask them all to come attack the base and free the prisoners. That was a long shot though and Lance knew it so he simply erased the thought from his mind./p  
p style="text-align: left;"br / "Well you don't have to imagine, because you're already kind of living here."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "You call this living?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "You're breathing aren't you?"/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "You got me there."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" And they both just couldn't help the quiet laugh that spilled out of their lips with just how strongemhuman/em/strong their simple conversation had been. How different it was from this place and how different they were from this place as well./p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Next time I'll sneak in some medical supplies as well."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Don't get yourself in trouble."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" Keith shook his head "I can't promise anything. It's my specialty."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" "Well at least try."/p  
p style="text-align: left;" A simple nod was the response that ended the whole conversation as Keith made his way over to the corner because he had just noticed the clock in the corner of the room, written in the Galran language of course so most prisoners couldn't understand it even if they wanted to./p  
p style="text-align: left;" It has been almost exactly a half an hour ago that he was pushed in here to clean by the soldiers and that's usually the amount of time that they gave him for this kind of job anyway. Keith was too perceptive sometimes because his thoughts were proven exactly right as two soldiers entered the dull, harshly lit, black and purple torture room and made small noises of approval before literally grabbing Keith and throwing him out the door and calling out an "emescort yourself back to your own fucking room/em" as they so kindly put it./p  
p style="text-align: left;" Taking their order in stride he made his way back to his room through all of the dimly lit hallways. Silently hoping the loud hiss of the door opening wouldn't awaken his roommate. Keith made sure to wait a moment after opening the door to check Matt, who thankfully had only turned in his sleep because of the noise. Keith then shut the door with the same precaution, only to see Matt not even more at the hissing sound./p  
p style="text-align: left;" Keith couldn't help but think as he changed and climbed into his bed as quietly as possible about how he could already tell, things were going to get interesting now that this Lance guy was here./p 


End file.
